Boston in Lincolnshire to be made into a Socialist Utopia?

Ah, BBC Question Time, you either hate it, or you hate it. I hate it. The episode of Question Time recorded and aired on 29th September 2016 was from the Lincolnshire town of Boston. Boston, Massachusetts is named after this Boston yet is demographically a much better place to live than the cesspit of despair, unemployment and general xenophobia that is Boston, Lincs.

After last night’s nightmare, Labour Party MP and QT panellist Richard Burgon has decided enough is enough, no ifs no buts. He is going to draft a Bill in Parliament to try and flood Boston with Socialists in Corbyn’s image. Of course the Tories will most likely defeat any such Bill but Burgon’s not going to give up that easily. It is now his pet project for eternity.

It will be a difficult task even if the Bill does go through because scientists have yet to successfully clone Jeremy Corbyn, which is the only feasible option right now. There is a compromise of course: to build Momentum’s head office in Boston and move Jon Lansman and James Schneider there, along with staff and copious amounts of coffee. Will the locals convert into Trotskyite entryists? Chances are they won’t and will instead breed a lot and their children will end up wearing silly multi-coloured hats and looking like Timmy Mallett and think Socialism is a mental illness. Richard Burgon felt humiliated and let down at the other panellists on QT, like the obnoxious Call My Bluff contestant and rubbish journalist Rod Liddle, Tory right-wing MP Priti Patel and UKIPs non-entity drink-driving advocate Stephen Woolfe, who made the awful generally right-wing audience sound intelligent. The other panellist who wasn’t right-wing was the American Bonnie Greer who nobody remembers. Was she even there?

Plans to make similarly UKIP-orientated Thurrock into a Socialist Utopia were abandoned by King Athelstan in 930 A.D. and apart from some occasional revisits to the idea since then nobody has dared to attempt it since as it is an impossible task. I wish Mr. Burgon good luck on this but he is just going to have to accept Boston is fucked and no amount of Corbyn clones infiltrating the town will make any difference.